categories: BOK!, IWPS, Muppet Face
tags:

Okay, white people…bring it in. Team huddle.

Black people, I heard there’s a new video of Wocka Flocka gettin’ a face tattoo of Kat Stacks  smoking weed out of a cereal box made of purple diamonds and kool-aid dust…go check that out.

Go’n! Git!

Whew. Now that we’ve gotten rid of the Jefferson’s, white people…level with me.

You jivin’ us, right?

I promise I wont tell.

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categories: BOK!, Haji P., IWPS
tags:

Remember when I wrote this?

No?

Well, remember when I asked you if you remembered when I wrote this?

Okay. Well, this is this.

I hate the way people (and by people, I mean white people) so freely spectacalize their feet. It’s so disgusting.  And yes, I said “spectacalize.” It’s a word.  Because I made it one.

Perhaps I hate it because I dont understand it. And thats unfair. People shouldn’t hate things simply because they dont understand. That’s what starts wars and makes doves cry. So, if it’s possible that you can help me understand why anybody would ruin a perfectly enchanting photo of the ocean by including their feet , I would greatly appreciate it. That way, when I continue to hate it, my hatred will come from an edified platform.

Until then, I’ve created a Tumblr. In an effort to help clean up our beaches and restore some integrity  back into your photography.

Join me, wont you…

F*CK YO’ BEACH!

Feel free to share with a friend. Sharing is caring. And caring makes doves not cry.

BOK!

Peter Parker picked peppers, and Run solved crimes. Humpty Hump fell down, and Tupac died.

Basically, what I’m saying is…everybody has a “thing.” Not necessarily a talent, but a “thing.” Some type of distinguishing quirk that is you, and only you. Its your thing. Do what you wanna do. I cant tell you who to sock it to.

Por ejemplo:

“Yo, you know Jimmy?”

“Nah, yo,  I don’t know no Jimmy!”

“C’mon, son! You know Jimmy! Jimmy from the block that do the robot every time we go to Subway!?”

“OOOOooOOOOooh! THAT Jimmy!”

See. A “thing.”

Mine is extrapolating racism. I’m like the Dr. House of this Whites Only Pies sh*t. And being that I’m such an astute diagnostician of discriminatory actions, my friends will often refer to me when they need assistance in determining whether or not something is ostensibly racist. Mostly my white friends. My black friends know what time it is when they get racisted on. Most of’em anyway. Some of’em still be on that Tia and Tamara sh*t.

Moving on…read this:

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You know how whitefolk can be so  inquisitive about the nuances of black culture…to the point where it’s like watching a baby lamb trying to do the stanky leg? If thats even a thing. Is that a thing? Probably not. I just needed a simile to express the combination of adorability and painful ignorance that are both displayed when whitefolk ask questions like “How do you wash your hair?” or  “If you don’t like the team, why do you wear the hat?”

Actually, the sentiment posed in the first paragraph may be a bit misdirected, as I’m positive most of my readers are white. Which is a paradox. Which is not a Parrot-Ox. Which is either some funky Dr. Moreau experiment, or undoubtedly the coolest character ever on The Wuzzles. Anyway, what I’m saying is…even in the whole wide world of  world wide webs…I’m still the only black guy in the room.

I’m sorry. This intro is really spiraling out of control.  What Im trying to say is…

WHAT THE UFCK IS UP WITH THE BEACH FEET PICTURE !?!?!

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