categories: BFC News, BOK!
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On the reals…I’ve never been one to subscribe to apocalyptic conspiracy theories. And after Brenda had a baby, I didn’t care much for  Tupacalyptic conspiracy theories either. Basically, if you tellin’ me the Earf gon die…I dont believe you. You need more people.

Oh. Whats that? You brought more people?

Got damnit!

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categories: BFC News, BOK!, Muppet Face
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On January 24th, this year, possibly a Tuesday (or not…I’ono), at a campus safety presentation held at Osgoode Hall in Toronto; a police officer turnt his swag on, stepped to the stage…and proceeded to speak the realest words he ever wrote.

*Ahem*

“Women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized. [Bublé, b*tch. Im out!]”

He then kicked a hole in the speakers and jetted.

The comment was made in regards to crimes of sexual abuse, and quickly became the subject of much antipathy amongst those of a Uteral Nation. The statement, almost acting like the Sword of Omens,  summoned a collection of Toronto’s Sluttiest slutbag sluts to exact revenge. While there is emphatically no record of this, at all, whatsoever…it’s said that they all came together atop a giant moose, and beckoned to all the world, “Hoochies, Hoes, Trollops, Skip-skaps, and Skollywoggs! Cease and desist that koochie pop! Pick up those fishnets and glass heels…we’re going for a walk! A SLUTWALK!”

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categories: BFC News, BOK!
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Esteban Purdencio Montez; Special Latino Correspondent for BFC

*Sits at news desk.* *Brushes eyebrows*

Wait!

Hold on!  Whats this? I…I…I think…Yes! It appears there’s a breaking story in process.

This just in…it’s another crazy May 5th in Boktown, USI (United States of Innanet), and it looks like the streets are rampant with everybody EXCEPT Mexicans dressed like George Lopez…dressed up as the Chiquita Banana Lady! For more, we take you to our Stereotype Perpetuating Latino on the streets…

Steb!?

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