Okay, white people…bring it in. Team huddle.
Black people, I heard there’s a new video of Wocka Flocka gettin’ a face tattoo of Kat Stacks smoking weed out of a cereal box made of purple diamonds and kool-aid dust…go check that out.
Whew. Now that we’ve gotten rid of the Jefferson’s, white people…level with me.
You jivin’ us, right?
I promise I wont tell.
See, I have this theory. I strongly believe you all are operating under the guise of a self-prescribed stereotype. You’re not as rhythmically hapless as you let on. Its not possible. This is some CIA, Roswell, Major Dad sh*t, aint it?
But you ain’t slick. Ladi dadi. You know how to Dougie!
Y’ALL MOTHER#@%&AS IS JUST MAKING FUN OF US!
*Black people, I was just bullllsh*ttin’…y’all can come back now*
Every time I watch Becky gettin’ down on the flo’, I get the muppet face. At first I thought it was cute. Like, “Oh look at that, she’s doing the butterfly…kinda?” But the more I
dry humped and wall grinded observed from a maintained distance, the more I couldn’t help but think “Waaait a minute!? Something is feeling real minstrely here!”
The exaggerated facial expressions? The absurdly incoherent gesticulations? The crass interpretation of popularized African American promenade? Krumping?
“If I could have the nigger show back again in its pristine purity,
I should have little use for opera.” — Mark Twain
…and everybody knows opera is hella boring!
As a result of WW1 and Blacks ascension to political power, minstrel shows were (very slowly) put to a halt. Now, with the loss of both slavery and Brother Bones, Whites were forced to find other means of disparagement. This time, meticulously perfecting their craft. Researching the most clandestine approach to implementation. As a way of gaining African American acceptance, they first introduced Kelly to Turbo and Ozone. Then later, Julia Stiles. Then….The Sun Drop Girl.
That’s when I knew it! That’s when I knew we were being made fun of!
To be completely honest…I’ve watched this commercial several times over and I STILL cant tell if it’s a joke or not. I mean, I understand its intent is to be humorous, but I’m thoroughly under the impression that when she was dancing, her inner monologue was screaming “Deeeeum, n*gga (yes. she was saying n*gga)! I. AM. GET-TING IT!!! Patra aint got nuffin on me! I’m from the windows to the walls with this Sun Drop sh*t! Double dream hands!” In all fairness tho…she kinda gotta dookie-booty, and the headband is cute. Butyouaintheardthatfromme!
So, Boktown, what say you? Whitefolk, is it really that hard to find which way the beat is going, or y’all doing some slick sh*t? It’s cool, I wont be mad. Everybody that aint whitefolk, are we being played? Am I wrong? Cant we all just dance along?