I like bagels.

Do you like bagels?

You know who loves bagels?

White women with miscegenated babies.

Actually, that may not be true at all. I cant say with certitude (no Wiener) that all white women with miscegenated babies really loves bagels…I was just at a loss for a casual and sagacious introduction to this post.

LEGGO!

(yeah, I like doing that now.)

The part about me liking bagels was true though. I’ll slap a titty for some bagels. Honestly, I’d slap a titty for an empty bottle of windex. Why I’d need an empty bottle of Windex is beyond me…but I’d definitely slap a titty for it. Anyway, what Im trying to say is… my admiration for bagels is what lead me to this dissertation.

See, earlier this morning, as I exited the doors of a local bagelria, my steps were encumbered by a young woman with the fairest of skin…trailed by a little baby-person of the Obama-est of skin. If I had to guess, I’d say she was in her late twenty’s, and it  was abundantly clear that at some point in her early twenties, she’d spent a night admiring a brightly polished set of Chevy Caprice wheels, while discussing the entrepreneurial genius of Jim Jones over a couple vodka-cranberrys until it lead to a magical night of unprotected boom-stank to the newest DJ Khaled mixtape. WE DA BEST!

Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. At all. It’s the most beautifullest thing in this world when ebony can get up in that ivory, and pop out an Ebonivry (or Ebonivryia)without fret of persecution. Truth be told, us Negras are endowed with an uncanny ability of creating some great looking babies. Why every race isn’t lined up at the Wal-Marts to make babies with us is a thought more perplexing to me  than my need for an empty bottle of windex.

However, anytime I see a white woman with a biracial kid (with no apparent father in tow) , I can not help but to giggle and think…

“Damn…you got got!”



I know. I aint 31 different flavors of sh*t. But, without fail, everytime I see it, here come the judge giggles…followed shortly by a juvenile chorus of  “OoOOOoOO, I Know what yoooou diiiiiiiid!”

And again…personally, I see no err in that.

Unless youre one of those chonky-thick, in da club wit my pink Baby Phat  velour sweatsuit and dirty white flip flops, local-rapper-signed-to-his-homeboys-label, “N*gga” dropping,  “I dont ufck with these other white girls” white girls. You brought that sh*t on yourself.

You ufcked up. You know you ufcked up, right?

Anyway, aside from that…I’ve just always wanted to know how it felt to be in that predicament?

Cause now what you gon’ do, Willy?  That has to cause some type of friction in the post baby-daddy dating world? I imagine, at this point, the infatuation with the help has long subsided…and trying to bag another blue-eyed beaux has to be an onerous assignment when you look like Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen…but your babys out there looking like Wayne Brady?

And as my homeboy pointed out…thats a lot of “I told you so’s!” at the family reunion.

That’s not at all to say that your child is a burden, or to question your mothering….but simply…as a woman, how do you deal with that situation. I mean, there’s a whole bunch of aint sh*t dudes in the world, and as a product of one…I absolutely, to no extent, condone the behavior of any man (black, white, or Waka Flocka ) who walks away from his child. That sh*t is THEE most deplorable act of humanity (next to having a video on Shmorldshtarshmipshmop)….but being left to work single-parently has a a unique coterie of complications when there’s a mix in the mix.

Show me what you working with?

I couldnt be more serious? Am I just trippin’? Is that the most ignorant thing I’ve ever said…cause honestly, I think I can do better. Anyhow…somebody fill me in.

BOK!

 

Woe is me and my inept abilities at reaching the crux of the matter.  What I want to know is…do you feel like you got got? Do you feel like that man ordered all the good sh*t from your restaurant and did the ultimate dine and dash on yo’ a** ?  And how much of a difference does it make that the proof in the pudding aint the same damn flavor? Does it affect your perception of all black men? Black people? Once you go black (and you obviously did)…would you go back (and you probably have)? Do you hate black keys on a piano and Whoopie Goldbergs lips? Does your whitefolk posse really say “I told you so!”? Do you still hang out in da club with that ugly velour sweatsuit and them  dirty-a** white flipflops? Is Young Money like the Army…or the Navy? B*TCH! DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU GOT GOT!?!?!

 

10 comments

Lilly Y Tass

June 29th, 2011

My Bi racial child thinks you are funny and wants to make you into an x- men character

June 29th, 2011

I think white, suburban (or hell, urban as all get out) women acting hard is funny as shit, and deserves to be made fun of. This is just an aspect of this stereotype that is often times true. It’s not racist when it’s just an observation wrapped in some comedy…

HH

June 29th, 2011

Yeah, we all think the same thing when we see a white mom with brown babies. I’m sure my wife is going to get the same knowing looks when she goes out with our kid.

Truth is, we never know what the situation is. It could be a young lady who went too far, trying to prove she’s not racist. It could be someone who’s too curious about the brown penis stereotype. Or it could be a mom in a stable relationship with a black dude who’s just getting some baby time by herself.

Something I feel that isn’t thought about very often is how their new brown baby is going to be a part of the good, bad and uglies of brown culture. It’s not just the skin and hair that different. It’s a whole different world when that brown ass baby comes out.

solebrotha p

June 29th, 2011

@HH– True. As much as I like to speculate, and create Tyler Perry-esque plays in my head- “Mama, my baby Brown…What Im gon do now?”– I absolutely do not know what the given situation is. Thats why my question is posed specifically to those of the Got Got Congregation.

Your wife will undoubtedly have no problems, as she can have quality “F my baby daddy, its just me and my nigglet” time without any feelings of disparagement.

And maybe those feelings arent prevalent in single biracial mothers…I dont know!?

But, somebody….somewhere…is feeling some certain way about it.

And thats the truth….Ruth.

As far as mixed babies go, them little half-n*ggas aint gon have no problems. They can grow up and be the president…or join DeBarge. They straighter than a muhfuggah!

Cha Cha

June 29th, 2011

good post, P. Poor lady and the looks she’s gonna get for having a biracial child….. the world’s smallest violin.

Frank

July 12th, 2011

“D” you a funny dude man!!! Lmao!!

MM

October 11th, 2011

the picture you posted of that woman and her baby…

guess what?

she was also used in another article for a joke and literally got sent accross the world. She has been ridiculed. here is the link.

You should honestly remove her picture before she goes through more ridicule for simply posting a picture of her and her son.

http://www.mediaite.com/online/brazilian-satirical-paper-tricks-american-news-outlets-into-believing-3d-pregnancy-story/

February 13th, 2012

Mattress…

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February 16th, 2012

Sorry buy,
alprazolam ,

March 18th, 2012

Sorry but,
adipex ,

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