Hol’up.

Wait.

Y’all n*ggas hatin’ on what, now?

Fried Kool-aid balls?

LEGGO!!!

Yo, on the reals…

They shoulda never gave y’all n*ggas Whole Foods.

*Looks at Jesus*

Dear Jesus, Lord in Heaven, forgiver of sins, creator of baby puppies and Waka Flockas…please forgive my people, for they have been ungrateful. Through the hands of a generous white man who’s actually Syrian and not Caucazoidal at all, you’ve placed upon us the miracle of fried kool-aid balls. A gift to be swallowed by mouth, but cherished by soul…but mostly swallowed by mouth. I hope that one day my people will lay down their malignity, and you can find it in your divine heart to grant us remission for our  reluctance to accept your charity. Amen.

How in THEE hamburger hell are yall gon act like yall dont want no parts of fried kool-aid balls in your mouth?

I am beyond perplexed.

My homeboy,  Chicken Charlie in San Diego creates a snack that combines nostalgia, love and the spirit of  Martins Mama’s Biscuits, packs it all into a cutesy little sugar fry-ball….and y’all gon treat it like its the re-institution of Seperate-but-Equal?

Word?

*muppet face*

Look at some of the comments I’ve read from reviews covering this deliciousness:

 

The key word is JUNK! Any negroid that eats that shyt is suppose to die! We patronize caucasoids even when they serve JUNK that kills us!WAKE UP NEGROIDS; YOU STILL GOT TIME TO LEARN BEFORE YOU DIE!”Newsone

“I’mma act like I got the sense God gave me and run like hell away from any event ever trying to serve such foolishness. Kool-Aid in its liquid form has probably only ever graced (and I use that term loosely) my lips once. Never again.And now folks wanna take that mechanically made (by Lucifer) sugared water concoction add lard/oil to it and heat it into solid form?!”Awesomelyluuvie

“SOME WHITE PPL s*** TAKIN SHOTS AT US”– Smorldshtarshmipshmop

“Get the fek outta hea wit that sh!t we aint jumpin on that nastiness we in tha white house baby! lol” -Smorldshtarshmipshmop

Y’all n*ggas got some nerve!

How you gon front on Kool-aid like that?

True, it’s an unhealthy snack, but aint nobody asking you to brush your teeth and scrub your titties with it. Just put it in your mouth. You can lick it, you can slurp it, you can tatse it. Im talkin’ every drip drop , dont you waste it.

And since when did your pallet get so damned refined that you can’t have no Fried Kool-aid balls? We the same race of people that’ll testify before God and all thats holy for some  heavily seasoned foods, diabeetus and all hotsauce everything…but we gon act all bourgie when fried Kool-aid comes around? B*tch, you better put them balls in yo’ mouth!

You ever eat hushpuppies while you were drinking kool-aid? Same thing. Same. Damn. Thing.

And FURTHERMORE, the  NERVE of them commenters from Shmorldshtarshmipshmop!   How you gon celebrate drinking promethazine, p*ssy poppin’ onna handstand, and beatin’ up a n*gga in a Wal-Mart parking lot cause his baby mama cousin pawned your mans fake Jordans for sweatpants money…and get all Huey Newton when a white man beat us to the punch on a dope anus donut?

N*gga, please!

Whew, that felt good. Glad I got that off my chest.

Anyway, I’m bout to book a flight to San Diego and see whats poppin with me and some fried Kool-aid balls. Boktown, you trying to get some with me, or you gon be all Whitley Gilbert, and pretend your lips is too good for some flour, water and red? What are your thoughts?

Also, does anybody get the sinking suspicion that it would recieve totally different acclaim if it were invented by a black dude/dudette?

Things that make you go yum hmmmmm???

BOK!

2 comments

J.Tizzle

June 27th, 2011

goddamn this one is good…

Frank

July 12th, 2011

Nice post homie!!!

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