Man, Im so glad we made it passed that whole “getting to know you” stage. That was awkward, huh? Palms sweaty. Knuckles ashy. You staring at me. Me staring at you…trying not to get caught staring at other readers…booty’s. *whew* Glad thats over. Now I feel like I can really share with you. Because sharing is caring. And caring is contagious. Much like the stanky leg. Anyway, before we go any further, I think its important that you know this…Im black y’all.

I’m black y’all.

I’m blackitty black and I’m black y’all.

Having attended predominately black schools for the majority of my grade level education, I decided, when college selection came about, to not attend an HBCU. A decision I felt was so disrespectful to both Vernon Jordan, and TLC’s “Baby, Baby, Baby” video. But…it had to be done. I needed to submerge myself in a more culturally diversified environment if I wanted to get my Huxtable on (I’ve yet to get Huxtabled). In hindsight, I shouldve just taken that scholarship to FAMU. Instead, I attended a university where minorities were only 6-9% of the schools make up. Thats when sh*t got real. Really real. The really really really real y’all.

As a result of my collegiate decision, I started noticing all of my social surroundings smelling less and less like Cocoa Butter becoming more and more Brady-like. Class, work, parties and Walmart all started to feel like a reverse Planet of the Apes. No porch monkey. True story: I was in a class with about 600billionteen American Eagle shoppers…and my sore-thumb-stickin’out black a**! Do you know how hard it is to skip class or be late under those conditions? Not that I condone that behavior, but having the option is appreciated.

Suddenly, barbecue sauce became vinaigrette, a sharp fade became playful bangs, and big booty hoes humpin’ widdit became Katie Couric. Thats when I realized, that *sigh*….I had become…a Solebrotha.

I began to accept my conditions. Befriending white folk by the dozens. Which, for someone such as myself (whose often characterized by brazenly reckless ethnocentrism), had become a got. damn. conundrum.

Though, seemingly similar, Solebrotha is not to be confused with “Token Black Guy.” Whereas TBG has willingly volunteered himself into a societal role, Solebrotha is bound by the unfavorable constraints of proximity. Also, important to note is the behavioral patterns of the two. In most cases, TBG can be recognized by an obvious assimilation and cornball-like behavior. Theyre most easily spotted by Aeropostale pant-suits and their unwavering disdain for additional blackness in a coinciding room.

Conversely, Solebrotha maintains a vigil of blacktitude and serves as a liaison between the differing cultures. Unlike TBG, Solebrotha welcomes at all times the presence of other brothas in the room (though a cautionary period is necessary to assess the realness of said brotha).  Most admirable is his pronounced understanding of cultural nuance. This asset allows Solebrotha to carry on through intense moments of Intolerable White People Sh*t (IWPS). Which is primarily, his greatest responsibility.

The list of famed Solebrothas include:

Barack ObamaThe head of the muhfuggin state, n*gga!

Craig RobinsonActor/Solebrotha extraordinaire

Mike GrierFormer San Jose Sharks hockey player

Crispus AttucksRight place, wrong time.

John CoffeyLike the drink, just spelled different.

Gerald (pictured above)

Panthro Former Thundercat, current nunchucks instructor.

Citizens of Boktown, do have anymore questions as to what a Solebrotha is? Do you know any Solebrothas? Are you a Solebrotha(sista)? Token Black Guy…you mad? Why you mad, son? White people, are you being considerate of your Solehomie? Love. Peace. and SOOOOOOLE!

BOK!

7 comments

Frank Nitti

May 6th, 2011

Dope shit homie!!!!

solebrotha p

May 6th, 2011

Woooordup! Much appreciated BrothaNitti!

May 11th, 2011

so is token from southpark a tbg or solebrotha?

solebrotha p

May 11th, 2011

Token, is in fact, a Solebrotha. Kyle an’nem just gave him that nickname because they didnt understand the difference…Im almost certain his real name is Morgan Freeman.

HH

May 13th, 2011

Thanks for the clarification. The whitefolk often get them confused. Solebrothas often have to take a few minutes letting the whitefolk know we’re not a tbg.

WF: Why don’t you wear chacos?
SB: Because I’m not white!
WF: Oh.

solebrotha p

May 14th, 2011

Truuuue. Truuuue.

June 27th, 2011

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