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On January 24th, this year, possibly a Tuesday (or not…I’ono), at a campus safety presentation held at Osgoode Hall in Toronto; a police officer turnt his swag on, stepped to the stage…and proceeded to speak the realest words he ever wrote.

*Ahem*

“Women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized. [Bublé, b*tch. Im out!]”

He then kicked a hole in the speakers and jetted.

The comment was made in regards to crimes of sexual abuse, and quickly became the subject of much antipathy amongst those of a Uteral Nation. The statement, almost acting like the Sword of Omens,  summoned a collection of Toronto’s Sluttiest slutbag sluts to exact revenge. While there is emphatically no record of this, at all, whatsoever…it’s said that they all came together atop a giant moose, and beckoned to all the world, “Hoochies, Hoes, Trollops, Skip-skaps, and Skollywoggs! Cease and desist that koochie pop! Pick up those fishnets and glass heels…we’re going for a walk! A SLUTWALK!”


Today, May 15th, in typical  Im okay, youre okay, let’s find a reason to wear the weirdest sh*t possible and not be okay fashion, my town held their own Slut Walk.

*muppet face*

Let it be noted, I do not think there is anything comical about sexual abuse; nor do I think victims of rape and other such deplorable criminality are ever to blame. Unless, Im the victim, and my assailants are Jessica Alba and Rashida Jones…in which case, dont worry about me…I’ll be fine. A little duct never really hurt anybody.

Anyway, disclaimer aside, I still think a “Slut Walk” is the most assandtitties asinine method of attracting attention to this serious a matter. Why? Here’s why:

Whatchoo marchin ’bout, Willis? – More than anything, it was the officers use of the word “Slut” that  really outraged audience members and protesters. Yes, it was insensitive. No, it’s not a viable reason to get bukkit nekkit with your do-me-pumps on in the streets. While the sentiment (of raising awareness of the crime itself) is admirable, the self-portrayal of (some) participants is some real blowjob-in-the backseat sh*t,  and I feel like it slights legitimate organizations like Take Back the Night and Hollaback! (yep, thats a real thing. I laughed too).

It’s attempt to reclaim/ empower the word Slut- There’s nothing to be reclaimed in the word slut, just as there’s no real justification for using the word “N*gger,”  even if you do change the “er” to an “a” (sorry, n*ggas…it hurts me too). However, the difference is, where N*gger was derogatory slang some no good crackas used to blanket an entire race, Slut is a definitive term created by Webster an’nem; limiting itself  only to women who exhibit such qualities (read: video hoes). N*gga.

Can you imagine if, instead of the Million Man March, it was called, The Big Ol’ Nigga Walk!? Or, what if,  during that whole Don Imus fiasco, Kim Wayans and Tracy Chapman gathered up a posse and chanted down babylon screaming “We Nappy, we know it, come get some head cause we hoein’!’”  That wouldve been awesome…but also, a really bad look.

Point is, don’t impose your longing for public sluttydom on my Earth, save that sh*t for Halloween. Slut is not something I’d ever want my mama, baby’s mama, baby’s mama’s mama, to ever address themselves as. Sorry Ms. Jackson. I am for real.

Security starts at the Cervix- Sometimes…it just helps to not dress like a slut. Ladies, your titties are your titties. I fully agree with that. You should be allowed to do whatever you want with them. If you got a curious nipple, and that little guy just insists on finding out whats happening outside of your tiny a** shirt, I say let him see the world! Or, if  the bottom of half  your booty butt cheek is afraid of the dark…give that n*gga some sunlight! But, exercise caution and optimize your safety. That don’t mean going to the club dressed like Joan of Arc (cause thats just a boner killer), but, just hold on to some of that nekkit till its sexy time. People out here are crazy, and while I understand its not only the slutbag slutty skank sluts that get attacked…its the slutbag slutty skank sluts that look like they enjoy a little surprise monkey hump.

This Slut- How am I supposed to take any of this serious when I feel like I owe somebodys mama some coors light beads?

“I was the only one baring everything, so I got lots of attention, from people taking pictures, reporters and regular. The walk ended at Police Headquarters for speeches, I posed for some more pictures and then hit the road. Hopefully everyone had a good time, while bringing some attention to a serious issue. I am always looking for fun events where I can show up nude, let me know if you know of any.”

She’s clearly here for the sole purpose of speaking out against injustice. You can read the rest of her blog, and see the rest of her nakedness here. But dont front. Youre going just for the nakedness. I did.

Anyway, what do I know? Im just a regular dude who’s concerned with the preservation of your boobies and tart popper. *Tittydap*

 

Ladies of Boktown, what are your thoughts? Guys, I want to know your thoughts too, but more importantly…I got binoculars and lawn chairs, who’s trying to go to the next walk and pick up some sluts?

BOK!

8 comments

Yoles

May 17th, 2011

i just found this to be funny… i totally understand women wanting to feel that we can wear whatever we want and be safe from assault. our bodies not yours. but i find that calling ourselves slut and dressing like we want to feel breeze on our lady bits is taking it a bit far… the protest should be about men NEVER feeling that they can do whatever they want to a woman based on how they look. there has to be a better way to get that point across

HH!

May 17th, 2011

Seriously?? If anything, a slut walk brings out the lurkers, creepers, and surprise monkey humpers. Surely there’s another way to address sex crimes. Pointless sensationalism at its finest, right there. And by sensational, I mean the nice pair o’ boobies shown above. Is that how you send the message to little girls? Dress like stanky slut, and men will respect you for it. I’m willing to bet more people talked about those wonderful boobies than sex crimes. I know I did.

May 20th, 2011

On some real… the chick with the ass out in the first pic… the one in the middle. YUP!

solebrotha p

May 20th, 2011

@Exit – …she told me I could hit that after the slutwalk.

Frank Nitti

June 4th, 2011

Toooo funny!!!! Dope shit homie!!!! BOK!!!!

chickenheadedweave

June 4th, 2011

The funny thing is that the men who showed up to the walk were disappointed that most of the “sluts” walking were old, fat and ugly.

Men don’t have any interest in fugly sluts. That’s why the young, pretty, perky, and thin nude model got all the attention and the fat sluts got pissed off and the model had to explain why she was posing for professional pics in a tree, as you qouted.

Plus, women who have experienced rape would not walk around half nude like this anyway.

These were unattractive fatties looking for some attention that they otherwise would never get.

SG

June 12th, 2011

So this is what Feminism and take back the night and violence against women rallies have devolved into?

I’m all for people wearing whatever they want but I don’t see the point of a protest like this at all.

I think it’s just going to give a bad name to women who are raped or sexually assaulted, as others have said many times other women are the most judgemental about blaming female rape and sexual assault victims and saying how these women deserved to be raped or sexually assaulted based on what they’re wearing or if they’re drunk or taking risks and going with strangers or people they don’t know at all.

I remember reading about a study where they surveyed men and women and what they thought about female rape victims and if they thought that women who are drunk or dress provocatively deserve it.

A large percentage of women in this study/survey thought that the other female rape victims deserved it (especially if the woman was drunk or dressed provocatively), while the men did not, and the women said how the other women should take responsibility if they decide to have sex with a man.

A few years ago where I live on a nearby university campus and the close surrounding area there was a sudden increase in rapes and sexual assaults. I remember I overheard a woman talking about how another woman who was sexually assaulted (in this woman’s own words) “Totally deserved it” when a car pulled up to a streetcorner, asked for directions, and the car door opened up and the male driver asked her to get into the car, she made the choice to get in and not run away or leave yet she was not forced into the car at all, and then this woman was sexually assaulted by the man in the car.

I have seen what Long Duck Dong wrote about with hook ups that turn into post sexual regret and then the woman cries wolf about being “raped” when she made the choice to have sex with this man, I remember hearing about this on the news years ago when one woman wound up having sex with a man she was either dating or hooking up with after a date, and she wanted to have sex with him and had consensual sex, and then the next day or when some time had passed she decided how she somehow really did like having sex with this man or did not like this man anymore who she was dating, so she claimed that it is “rape”.

I’m not saying that anyone who is actually raped deserves it even if they are drunk or wearing revealing clothing but there are people who do exploit rape laws to put the blame on the man when they don’t like him or they regret having sex with him after they stop dating or if it’s post sex regret the next morning.

Something that nobody talks about and they’re just now starting to come out and admit and talk about is how in the GLB “community” how gay and bisexual men do get sexually assaulted and date raped by other men and how this is more common than people want to admit.

There are even heterosexual men who have been raped and sexually assaulted by bisexual and gay men, and I’m not talking about prison rape at all with any of these men who have been raped or sexually assaulted.

Diana

September 24th, 2011

“Don’t impose your longing for public sluttydom on my Earth” – that’s not what this is about at all. SlutWalks are not about dressing promiscuously – they’re about changing the slut shaming culture that teaches women how not to get raped instead of teaching MEN NOT TO RAPE.

I want to be able to walk alone on my college campus without being scared. I want to be able to wear heels and a skirt without men yelling at me.

It’s not just about women either; it’s about safety and rights for all genders. Men get raped too.

I just participated in a SlutWalk Cornell/Ithaca and it was a very touching event where people felt love and support as they shared their stories. I talked about the rape of my sister. Are you going to tell me it was her fault for getting raped? Do you think she’s a slut? Was her rapist justified?

Maybe you’re right and I’m just desperate for attention. That’s why we do it. But interesting enough…most people wore a t-shirt and jeans. Huh.

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